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Friday, April 29, 2011

Confession

I have a confession to make – I have chickened out of the triathlon that I had scheduled for Sunday! That’s the short version of the story, too bad that’s not all you get. The long version has many points and details and I considered drawing you a diagram or even doing a power point presentation to help explain away my fear of this triathlon but I figured I might lose a few followers and well let’s just be honest here, if I lose any followers that means my family is tired of listening to me and that’s just not cool! So you are simply stuck with my rambling (referred to by some as ‘mumbo jumbo’) justifications and here they are:
First off, my passion at the moment is running. It’s where I started this journey and where my heart is currently at. Don’t get me wrong, I have really learned to love swimming and I am slowing growing to the cycle thing, but at the moment, with all of the half marathons I have already committed myself too, that NEEDS to be my focus.
Secondly, I am three weeks removed from my first half marathon and as we have already discussed I spent two of those weeks not running. I do know that there is not much running involved in a sprint triathlon, however when I finally kicked it into gear, I needed to focus on my next half marathon…
Which is point three, my next half marathon, which I will be joining a pace group for to help improve my time is 5 days after this triathlon. And seeing as I am not an elite athlete that is just way too much for my body to handle.
Lastly, my brain just could not handle the overload of emotions that were involved in trying to pull this thing off.  As we are all aware, I stress out and overwhelm myself about every 5 minutes so you can only imagine the craziness that was in my brain over this. I will spare you most of the details but here is a bit of the nitty-gritty: Basically I just could not imagine trying to cram all of my swimming and biking into a three week training period. I don’t like to do things if I can’t do it to my full ability and so I knew this would frustrate me. Although this was a sprint triathlon and a great way to start since it’s in a pool – I could not justify letting my lack of training affect someone else’s race (maybe that’s just a good excuse but I would think some serious tri athletes out there would appreciate that). I also found out that you have to have a membership to the USAT, which I do not have, and even though you can purchase a day pass, that really freaked me out (again probably just another excuse seeing as most triathlons require a membership).  And on top of all that I haven’t had a chance to get used to my bike and ride it anywhere other than my neighborhood, it’s been way too windy around here (and it just might still freak me out a bit!). So there you have it. Once I made the decision to simply switch my entry to the run only portion my mind was at ease, for at least 5 minutes that is.
I have crossed my first training bridge in making important training decisions. The old me would be more stressed out over this decision to not complete the whole event because I would have felt like I failed at something or felt like I was letting myself down. But this new me feels perfectly ok with my decisions. I will do a triathlon, I know that for a fact, but now is just not the time for it. I need to focus on what drives me and motivates me at the moment, which happens to be running and live for that right now. The lesson for me, and it has been my lesson for the past 7 months, is to just slow down and take my time. I don’t have to do everything I want to do in life by yesterday. I told my dad recently that oddly enough I feel like now, at 25, I have more time ahead of me to do and enjoy the things I want out of this life than I did when I was 21. Yes, I’m four years older, but I’m also four years wiser and stronger. The other lesson for me is that it’s good to have goals, but they must be realistic to your strengths and abilities for that moment. So yes, a goal for my life is to complete a triathlon, but right now the more realistic goal is to improve my time from my first half marathon to this next one, that can be done!

1 comment:

Randee and Angie said...

Just focus on your half marathon and move forward! You know you better then anyone else!